I Saw You

As children we loved to have secret codes with our friends, notes we passed in school with coded messages.  We knew the note or message was from our friend based on the password. Sometimes this would get us in trouble for passing notes during class time, other times we were crushed when we learn that our friend had shared with someone else our secret.

 As we grew older we would still share intimate thoughts or secrets with an extremely close friends or loved ones. We would tell our spouses things no one else would know - of our dreams, our fears, our desires, our anguish.  It is one of the elements of the bond between a husband and a wife, your trust in them.

Last week we heard when Jesus called  Nathaniel (John 1:43-51). Nathaniel was skeptical of Jesus “for nothing good could come from  Nazareth,” he said.  But then Jesus said something to him that had Nathaniel proclaimed that Jesus was the “Son of God.”  Jesus simple said “I saw you under the fig tree.”  I wonder why would this matter - I see people every day - they are not falling down proclaiming me the savior (if they did, I would wonder about their mental capacity.)

What I believe is that under that infamous fig tree Nathaniel was in prayer, perhaps asking why God does not see him and his people's struggles. And when Jesus said he “saw him” - this was the answer to Nathaniel's prayers - for only God would know what he was praying - and God answered "YES" I see you- and I have answered your prayers in the form of my beloved son Jesus.  For Jesus was not referring to his physical sight — but that Jesus saw Nathaniel’s true prayer - he saw Nathaniel’s struggles - he “SAW” Nathaniel.

This revelation encourages me immensely.  I am inspired to tell the Lord more of my hopes, dreams, struggles, disappointments.  To build my bond between the Lord and myself even stronger.  Now does this mean all my prayers will be answered just as I have asked - of course not - if that was so, I would have won the lottery last week, but there is satisfaction in the knowledge that God is listening — and who knows someday (most likely at my death)  - Jesus may be standing in front of me saying “Theresa, I SAW you.”

Window Panes

As someone who was raised in the 60’s and 70’s (yes, now you know approximately how old I am) one of my favorite albums was from the musical “Godspell (based on the book by John-Michael Tebelak).” And the song that I still hum to myself today is the one of John crying in the desert “Prepare ye the way of the Lord,” I’ve actually downloaded it to my phone. It has always resonated with me.  It is a simple song, only one line sung over and over, but it’s the joy and anticipation that comes from the song as it grows louder and stronger that stirs my heart. It is that same joy and anticipation our lives is to speak of as we grow in our faith with Christ.  And just like the one line of the song, even the simplest of lives can have a big impact.

I believe we are all still crying out in the desert - as long as there are ears to hear, we need to still be calling out.  “Why” you might ask.  Well, I will tell you my friend, our lives should speak of the coming of Christ - for those with little or no faith should be able to hear the Father's call through us;  perhaps not so much with words, but through our actions.

As follows of Christ - Christ needs to be the center of the way we live our lives; how we give of ourselves to other, respect human life and and recognize our responsibilities to God’s creation. Our choices should speak of our faith. And we should not hide the light of our faith under a bushel basket.  I know, this is easier said than done.  You may be mocked, lose friends, or even (though unlawful) loss a job. But in the grand scheme of things, these are small sacrifices for a Christ centered life, a life with a heart full of more joy than anything on this earth can produce.

I have always viewed,  though perhaps not always successful - the actions of my life should not speak of me, who I am; but something more important; my prayer is that others should see the Lord through my life, through my actions. As if my life pane of glass in a window, you do not see the glass as you look through it, you only see the beauty outside the window.

The Big Picture

Have you ever really looked at a puzzle piece?  You may see colors or a small line on the piece, you could gather clues from the shape of the puzzle piece as to where it belongs.  Most start a puzzle by identifying the corners and boarder pieces - some are easy to identify as to where they belong, others, you may know they are part of the boarder - but not sure of exactly where.  But you really cannot see the whole picture in one puzzle piece.  Our lives are the same way.  We are made of many, many puzzle pieces. 

Each life event, each lesson learned, each sin, each joy, all the people we come into contact with, each prayer we lift up -- all are parts of who we are, all are pieces of our puzzle.  Each one is a clue to who we are, but each one cannot define us on it's own.  Unless we allow it.  There are events in our lives which will challenge who we are - events we have no idea of why they are happening or what will become of us because of them.  It is in these moments we are tempted by sin to stop right there and simply allow the event, the puzzle piece, to completely define us and not move past this life event.

Grief and hurt are hard to understand, and it is easy to stay in them.  They have a way of sucking the life from us, calling us to allowing them to consume us.  But that is not what God wants for us.  He wants us to grow with each circumstance in our lives.  Grief, loss and hurt are all part of life - some are harder than others such as a loss of a child, a spouse, or a parent, or perhaps a falling out with a close friend - these are people who are an important part of who we are, they can be a corner piece of our puzzle.  But their leaving should not move us to sin, on the contrary - they should move us closer to the Father.  He is there to help us through our grief - no matter how big or small the loss is in our lives.  The same is true with hurt, disappointment, frustration, and anger - all can take over the life God has given to us - all can come to define us - think of the "angry old man" on the corner of our childhood neighborhood - the one who yelled at all the kids for being on his yard.  Something hurtful in his life has taken over his picture - he allowed one puzzle piece to determine who he was.

It may sound easy from this that you can simple walk out of grief and hurt - I know from experience, it can be hard - it can take time, but if each day we decided that we will not allow this puzzle piece to consume us, that day; we will find after a while - we no longer need to make that choice, for the grief and hurt, though still there, is not lying on the top of our hearts.  And with each day, God has grown closer to us, our faith is made stronger, we will find we are back on our journey towards to Father, perhaps a little bruised and beaten - but on the mend and another piece added to our puzzle.

Coming to Terms with God's Plan

In today's Gospel (Matthew 1:18-25) we see the Angel coming to Joseph to assure him that the child within Mary's womb was not of man, but of God.  Wow!  This must had been a real shocker for Joseph.  And he chose to believe - he chose to follow God's Plan.  He did not turn his back to the call. I'm sure he was still skeptical  - not of the child's origins, but of his (Joseph's) role and purpose to the plan.  He did not know, God was calling him to protect Mary and the child, to stand in between them and sin until they were strong enough to do it for themselves.  It is why will will hear of the Angel coming again to Joseph, after Jesus' birth, to warn him to take the child and Mary to Egypt and when it was safe return home.

This has made me wonder, how many times have I turned away from God's Plan?  I know, we have never been told that the way of God would be a cake walk - just look at Joseph and Mary.  They followed and trusted God - their lives were constantly tested, but they stood firm.  There are times when God calls us to do something that will be difficult or uncomfortable.  And we find ourselves questioning.

"This could not be what God means for me, why would God choose this for me, how am I expected to live this life?"

It is true, God can and does ask big things of us.  Some can be so heart wrenching, we have no idea how to survive them, but survive we must and in turn our faith will grow.  The of glory of God is that he has already given us the life line we need to keep our heads above the troubled waters.  God has given to us his son, his only holy son.

When we put our doubts aside as Joseph did, and simply allow our faith in God to provide us the courage to let go and absolutely TRUST in the Father, we will find the true joy of our God.  It's going to take effort, we may feel that we are lost and our efforts are of no consequences.  We may not see God's goal for this path he as put us on, but that is when our faith will lead us on.

St Therese' has taught us, when we recognize and embrace our littleness, we are recognizing God's greatness.

Ask the Holy Spirit today to grant us the faith and courage you need to come to terms with God's plan for you, and to help you to take each step along the way.

Keeping the Faith while Visiting Over the Holidays

As the holidays grow closer, you may be making arrangements to travel to stay with friends or family,   And you could be wondering what will be the best way for you to maintain your prayer life and attend Mass - especially if those you are visiting have a different faith beliefs or even lack of faith.  I know for me it can be a challenge.

I am from a family who does not really have any spiritual beliefs - at times, I actually wonder, where I came from since I am the direct opposite. As a child, my dad would say the prayer before our meals - but he said it so fast, no one even knew what he said.  I remembering having one of my school friends over for the weekend, we sat down for dinner and Dad did his speed praying; I looked over at my friend and she still had her head bowed, a nudged her with my elbow saying he was done.  I know today it was because he does not believe in God. (which I know is a whole another blog post)

I was home for Thanksgiving this year and my brother had hosted the meal.  I was surprised when everyone just started eating - not praying and not even wait on everyone to get their food. When I am at home with my husband, and at holidays with his family, we always pray before meals - especially if it’s a holiday. So, I quietly closed my eyes before eating and prayed.  I have been lucky, I usually stay with one of two friends who both have strong faiths - so if I said I was heading to Mass - they would be fine with it.  But not everyone is that lucky.

You will want to plan in advance - check the Mass schedule for the area you are visiting.  Let your hosts know you will be slipping out to attend Mass.  Don't make a big deal over it, just simple leave.   I also try to have a small devotional with me, so that I can either read it right before going to sleep or just as I wake.  Depending on your family, you may expect a little push back (which is why I just quietly prayed before eating on Thanksgiving.)  But this is a time when your actions will speak louder than words. The more you plan ahead of time, the easier it will be for you.  Just remember, God knows your heart, he knows your desires.  And if you make an effort, he will understand.

You Have Found Favor with God!

Are those not the words we all long to hear - "that we have found favor with God!"  I know I do.  In today's Gospel (Luke 1:26-28) we hear the Angel's greeting to Mary.

Honestly, I believe we have already found favor with God.  The question is - does God find favor with us?  I wonder why we hold the Father at arms length so much of the time.  It could be we tell ourselves "see that's Mary - the Mother of God - of course she has found favor with the Lord - as for me - if God knew all that I have done (newsflash - he knows) there is no way He will want to find favor with me."

We all know God has given us free will and all - but really - I ask, who in their right mind would choose not to be with God?  His favor is there for us - all of us - no matter what we have done - the sins we committed - the people we hurt - the mistakes we've made.  Honestly, God loves it when we are a "hot mess" for he knows we are making a conscious choice - we are choosing to turn away from this world and walk in his light.

Unfortunately, in this world, there are those who have chosen to believe the false promises of this world and allowed those promises to cloud their judgement.  Plus, also, there are those who have chosen to not choose one way or the other (hate to tell you - that "not choosing" is a chose.)

We must know that the Lord's heart is so full of love for us; and that it hurts his heart
when we turn away from his gifts.  Here he is - ready to shower us with all his love and mercy - and we say "no thanks" or "maybe - I'll get back with you later on that."  It is not God withholding from us - it is us not accepting his great gifts.

Advent is a wonderful time to rethink our relationship with the Lord.  Ask the Holy Spirit to show you where you have held the Lord at arms length and make adjustments in your life.  Christmas is coming soon - I want to welcome the Christ Child with a full hug!

Watch!

Advent starts us off with Jesus telling us to “watch!”

I don’t know about you, but I am not a patient watcher.  It drives me crazy when I know someone is coming, but they don’t tell me when exactly  they would arrive, it makes me so restless (think the cable service person - you are told they will arrive anytime from noon-4.) I feel like I need to sit and wait for them, for I just know as soon as I run down stairs to put a load in the washer, they will show up and I will not hear them, they will leave and then I would have to reschedule and start all over.

 But, I believe Jesus is telling us not to only wait on his arrival, but also to “watch” for him in everyone we meet.  To open our eyes!  Christ resides in each one of us - even in that “mean girl” we may have experienced in our childhood.

So, how do we “watch?”  To start, we need to put our phones down, and actually talk with people - mind blowing concept, huh?  Smile at the people you meet as you walk through the parking lot at the grocery store, hold a door open for someone entering right behind you, send a handwritten thank you note to someone who has done something special.  I know these sound pretty basic - but you do not know what is happening in that person’s life on that particular day.  Your small but important jester may make a change in their life - and in yours too!  Jesus doesn’t ask us to be successful in all we do, but to be watchful and faithful.  You may hold a door for someone who walks right through and don’t acknowledge  your effort — that is simply ok, for you are being faithful. 

In your efforts you may find that you see Christ in people who don’t even know he is in their hearts - when it happens to me, I like to pray for them.

Make it your mission this Advent season to “watch” for Jesus in everyone you meet.