Greener Grass

When I was a kid, one of my Mom's favorite sayings was "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."  Meaning when we are having troubles, everyone else's life always looks so much better than ours.  Now grown, actually it is greener on the other side of the fence - my neighbor waters their grass all summer - so when my grass is brown and crunchy - their is lush and beautiful - but at what price - see I live in the city and  have city water - so we pay for every drop that comes out of our spicket.  I'll water my flower pots, but we let the grass go - it will rain, eventually, and then it will be green again, and my husband will have to start mowing again.  I've thought about getting a rain barrel to capture rain water for my flowers -- but that's a whole other topic for another blog post on our responsibility to care for God's creation.  Let's get back to the grass is greener thought.

This past weekend's Gospel (John 6:60-69) we hear Jesus ask Peter if he was going to leave too - Peter's response is perfect "Master, to who shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life."  Being Christians is not always easy - we hear the Gospels challenging us to work to live better lives, to love those who hate us, and to give without expecting return.  But as Peter - who would we go to but Christ.

Well, this has had me pondering this week --- what is the difference of "life with Christ" and "life without Christ."  I know my life with Christ has not always been a cake walk - there is not some prayer which makes all my troubles go "Poof" and disappear from my life.  But I look to some of my family members who do not believe in God - and think about what does their lives look like?

Those who are without faith seem to live for the here and now -- and for themselves.  They may have successful work and may seem to skate through life.  But we don't truly know what is lying underneath and at what price does this life style come with.

Ok, this lead to another thought to ponder (I know, I move from one thought to another - but hang with me - I have a point.) I began to think about how wonderful other people's lives look like (greener grass.)  It can be very easy to laps into the lifestyle society has laid out before us.  When I was a young bride - my new husband was not Catholic and though he was a believer, he was not interested in attending weekly Church.  I found it hard every Sunday to get up and go to Mass by myself - and found I was looking for excuses to not go.  I was only thinking of me - my needs. Eventually,  I was able to break that cycle by volunteering for things with the Church - it helped me to give service but also make a support system so that even though I was driving to Mass on my own, once inside I had a family in faith there ready to greet me.  I also found new strength in attending weekly which gave me the courage to live a life of Christ.  This is why when I'm asked about the need to attend weekly Mass - my answer is that it is important - it renews our faith - it feeds our souls - and it prepares us for the week ahead.  And the big answer - Mass is not about us - it is about praise the Father and thanking him for all the blessings he has given us.  This is an important point I think many of us sometimes forget.

So, I reason the big question for our lives is - not green grass or brown crunchy grass but whether we we choose death or eternal life.  I'm sure you can guess my answer.

What's Sitting on my Reading Table

I just love to read - to find a quiet place in my home and curl up with a good book in my opinion is an excellent way to spend time.  Some of the books I read are just for fun (I love cozy mysteries) and others speak to my soul. Right now I am reading one of those "speaks to my soul" books.  While I was on retreat, I found this book in the gift shop.

It is "Clare of Assisi" by Illa Delio.  What a wonderful gem!  Honestly, I did not know anything about St. Clare other than that she was with St. Francis.  This book takes us on her journey to God.  She has outlined four parts of her path - the first is the Gaze, second Consider, third Contemplate and then finally desire to imitate Jesus.

I am in awe of this women!  Here we have someone who did not have a high education, and yet she has developed a philosophy of Love that can change each and everyone of us.

I will just share her first part of her path - Gaze Upon Him.  At first I was not sure what she meant - but the more I read, the more I came into an understanding.  As we look upon the Crucified Christ - we should see the Crucifix as a mirror which reflects ourselves back to us.  For in the cross we should find what we need for life and what we should become - love, compassion, obedience to name just a few.  Christ did not "have to" go to his death on the cross - he did it for the love of us and the love of the Father.  He demonstrates such compassion for us - even if we do not know we need it - there is Mercy on that Cross! And obedience - again - Jesus just need to say one word and the Angels would have descended from Heaven to rescue him.  But Jesus was obedient to the Father - he chose to follow God's Will and not his own.  Can we say the same about us?  I know this part of the path alone will be a life long journey for me.

I will admit the introduction and first chapter was a challenge to read - I'm wondering if now that I have almost finished reading the book, it might be good to go back over those two section.  But as I read more, the more I was drawn in.  My highlighter was flying.

I found it on Amazon: Clare of Assisi A Heart Full of Love

I am sure you can also ask your local Catholic Book shop, if they do not have it in stock, to order it for you.

I give it two thumbs up!

My Great Escape!

The phone is ringing, the TV blaring, my "To Do" list seems to grow more than I cross off, meals to cook, laundry to do, and I do not understand how two cats can leave this much hair on the floor and not be naked!

Calgon - Take me away!!

Better yet -- Lord take me away!

I have found every year I need a break from the world and time with the Lord to refresh my soul.

This past weekend I enjoyed my annual retreat.  Several years ago I found the Hermitages with the Franciscan Sisters of Sylvania Ohio. The Hermitage consist of a one room cabin with a bed, recliner, desk and a small kitchenette - plus a bathroom.  There are 2 cabins and they are nestled in a small valley surrounded with trees.  There is no TV, phone, or WiFi.  It is truly a place made for peace and prayer.

The Campus is full of sculpture and fora with wonderful little places to sit and prayer or simply be.  The Sisters have also built a smaller scale replica of the Chapel built by St. Francis in Assisi Italy where the Blessed Sacrament resides in the Tabernacle. 

The beauty of the space is that my retreat time is my own design.  I always come loaded with a tote full of books, not knowing which way the Lord will take me.  My first year I read about St. Monica, other years I have studied Mercy.  Last year I found a book in my stash that I did not know I had, let along remember packing it - and it was just what I needed for the weekend.  This year was no different, but instead of finding something in what I brought with me; I found a book in the gift shop on St. Clare - which took my retreat in a beautiful direction.  I will share more about this book in a later post.

So, why do I find it necessary to go away for a long weekend to pray?  This answer is very simple - Holy Silence.

To be honest, I know I get a little lazy over the year in my prayer life routine.  I allow other things to easily distract me - the bathroom needs cleaning, the cat hair needs vacuuming again, I have planned a lunch with girlfriends.  Here on retreat all those items are removed - your only focus is experiencing God's love.

I always come home with a special peace that words cannot describe and my faith is truly deepened. I absolutely cherish this special time each year.

Now, my question to you --- could your relationship with the Lord benefit from some dedicated "alone time?"  I'm going to assume your answer is "yes."  I found my haven through a "Google" search.  I just searched for "Catholic Retreats near me."  If you want more information on the Hermitages, let me know - I will be thrilled to share.   

Mercy and Keds -- A Great Combination

It is my belief that every woman should have as many purses and shoes she wants -- I have quite a few of both - (husband rolling eyes)  if you asked my husband - he would say I have too many...lol.  Well, I am not talking about those cute high heels - I wore them many years ago, and my feel would protest if I even think about it now.  What I love is my Keds -- I like having several colors and how cute they look with my jeans.  But both of my big toes turn slightly upwards which causes small holes in my Keds by the end of summer, which require new ones every spring (oh what a shame.)  So, here I am in the shoe store salivating at all the different Keds they had.  As I went to reach for a box with my size on it - another customer was doing the same - the same box - I got to it first and unfortunately it was the last one in that size.  She said something about not sure if she had time to run to another store - she and her family was leaving early the next morning for vacation and as she was finalizing the packing she realized she missed getting herself some new shoes.  As you can guess, I felt bad, I could see she was stressed - I know it's a lot of work to plan a family vacation - especially with young children.  And, I know I had a way to ease just a little of that stress.  I handed her the box - she looked at me in surprise.  I said that I didn't need them for a special date and had plenty of time to check out another store.  I actually saw her body relax a little - I was showing her Mercy at a time when she had not expected it.

Mercy is one of those things we all think we know and understand; and yet we all know we truly do not know exactly what it is or how to define it.  There are many books written on it - in fact I'm reading one right now.

So, just what is Mercy?  According to the author I am reading, he defines Mercy as love - love when we respond to another one's suffering.  I found this fascinating -- because I don't think everyone who needs Mercy realize they are suffering.  We have just learned to live with it - most often describing it as "stress" - and yet, it changes us - it effects our relationship with other people, and it effects our relationship with the Father.

As I thought of Mercy - I thought about times I have received Mercy and times I have given Mercy.  The one that comes to mind first; was when I went to confession a few years ago (yes, I know we receive Mercy every time we celebrate the sacrament of Penance,)  well, I confessed how mad I was with someone who did not complete their job, which ended up falling on me.  I was expecting my penance to be to pray 10 Hail Marys  - or something like that.  But instead - Father told me I was to pray for that person;  which I did reluctantly at first.  As time when on, my heart soften, I began to realize she had had a lot hit her plate all at one time and simply was not able to complete the thing she committed to - and she was sad that this had happened.  She was suffering - and I was holding my mercy from her.  This taught me a great lesson. 

Mercy does not cost anything - the Father gives it to us freely and we are to give it to others just as freely -- and it has great value to the person who is receiving it - and as a side bonus - it is great for us too.

Being Holy in Today's World

When I was in 8th grade, I told my mother I wanted to become a Sister - she said - no I did not.  Being a dutiful daughter, I thought, well, perhaps I don't then - mom should know best.  There has been many times in my life that I have regretted that decision and other times I am thankful for it.  The Sisters had taken me several times that year to the mother house for retreats.  I found the life of a Sister to be inspiring - to be able to spend so much time in prayer, to be so close to the Lord.  To me - they were living holy lives.  But, I've come to understand that taking the veil is not the only way to be close to the Father.

As I looked to the lives of the saints, I wonder how in the world could I ever be at their level of holiness with the Father.  I mean - as a mother and wife there are so many things that can distract you from prayer - the meals to be cooked, beds to be made, bathrooms to be cleaned.  Not to mention working full time while doing it.  There was no way I would even be able find 15 quiet minutes to pray a rosary.  I am sure any parent can relate.

 I feel we are being constantly hit with news, gossip, bad language, etc today we become numb to it. I have to force myself to turn off the TV and put down my phone.  This makes me question "How in the world can anyone be Holy today?"

So, let's ask the question - "Just what is being Holy?"  Is it like the pictures of the saints of old?  Do we need to wander and preach? I don't think so.  There is a need for lots of prayer - but I am not referring to being on our knees before the Crucifix for hours at a time, though there may be a need of that a time or two in our lives.  I am speaking to the realization that everything I did for my family was a prayer - the cooking, the cleaning, the driving to sporting practices and cub scout meetings, all the laundry I did - and trust me - doing laundry for a stinking teenage boy was a true sacrifice to the senses (I believe all parents of teen boys can attest to this) - each and every thing was a prayer to the Lord.  And it is so easy for us to forget that today.

Our lives can be a constant prayer and a path to holiness when we bring the Father into everything we do.  And I believe this is exactly what the saints did.  We only hear about the defining moments in their lives - what we don't hear about is the everyday struggles they faced.  And that is exactly the saints lives we need to strive for on our path to holiness.  It become of letting go of "me" and becoming a person who's focus in on the needs of others.  It is bandaging the skinned knees, baking the last minute cookies for school, and trusting that each time our child leaves the house they will be safe.  It is calling a friend who you know is struggling and cooking the dish for a funeral dinner.  It is everything we do - no matter how great or how small - it all becomes our prayer and a path to holiness.

So the next time you are cleaning the floor or changing the sheets - dedicate your work to the Lord and ask Him to bless the lives of all those who will benefit from your efforts.  Trust me - you will never look at a dirty dish the same again.

Joy and Happiness

We hear in many of the Gospels, Jesus talking about true joy; and this made me wonder - what exactly is true joy.  So, the last time I was with my Spiritual Director, I asked her - what did Jesus mean when he talked about true joy - and isn't joy and happiness the same thing?

Well her answer surprised me a bit, though once I thought about it, it made sense.  Happiness comes from the actions and things of this world - it is a feeling -- as when you look outside to a pleasant sunny morning or perhaps you are in a public place and you look down at your child to see them actually behaving or your husband puts his socks in the laundry without being asked - or even greater - your husband puts his dirty dish in the dishwasher instead of just leaving it in the sink (yes, this would be a wonder and would bring great happiness in my home - lol.)  But all those things which brings happiness is based on the weather and the behavior of another person.  It could be when you score the perfect outfit - or you ordered something on line and when it came it actually fit - trust me - that would be true happiness.  But happiness can be diminished and even disappear by other's actions too.

But joy can only come from the Lord - it has nothing to do with the actions of things in this world - in fact it has nothing really to do with our physical actions - it is a product of God's love for us and of our love for Him.  And that is what it is connected to - Love.  God's love is eternal, unfathomably great - it is always there - it is constant  -- and the more we love God and do His Will - the more joy we receive - for our hearts and souls are then in sync with the Father. And joy - cannot go away based on our mood or our actions - or lack of actions -- it is a permanent fixture.

I can have happiness without great love - you cannot have joy without it.

Well, as I said this all seemed to make sense once I thought about it  - but I wanted to do a little research on joy and happiness.  And I wanted to know what it truly is based on in Catholic teaching- so I turned to two sources - Pope Francis and the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  And here is what I found:

Pope Francis in his homily of May 31, 2014 said "likened this joy given by God to the joy a mother embracing her baby after childbirth, because it is a joy 'purified' by the suffering of labor.  The joy of the Christians, is a 'joy in hope.'"

And in the Catechism I found "Joy can be described as a more complete, ecstatic, consuming passion where happiness is an emotion/a feeling.  Happiness is our response to events in this world/outside influences we find happiness is a response to happenstance, contentment, good luck, prosperity or good fortune, Happiness is connected with pleasure."  CCC 1723, 1720, 301

Pope Francis put joy it in terms all mother's can understand; that immense feeling of new life coming into the world and how it is tied to our hope in the Father; and the Catechism gave a good explanation of happiness and how it is connected with pleasure and not joy.

So, what does all this mean to me right now - right here on earth - typing my blog on my kitchen table?  Well, for one thing - I know that joy is something I want; it is not something I can get by my actions or the actions of others - and I know I want to receive as much of the Father's love as one could receive.  I want to experience complete joy!  And as a bonus - come this Christmas - when we will sing "Joy to the World,"  I will know we are actually singing "God's Love Comes in to the World."

Mary and the Miraculous Medal

As Catholic Women we like to wear Medals of Mary, I know I do.  I purchased the current one I wear when I completed a Consecration to Mary and it was part of the actual consecration where Father would bless all of our medals.  There are many different medals to Mary - each with their own story and inspiration of Mary.  The one I wear and want to share with you is the Miraculous Medal.

Before I completed the Consecration, I had heard of the Miraculous Medal, knew it was about Mary, and that is about it.  When you are a young mom - there is so much going on in your life, you don't have or take the time to really study different Medals.  You simply trust the one you are wearing (which usually was a gift) will do it's job and protect you and your family.  We always think, once the kids are grown, I'll take the time.  At least that is what I said to myself and to God.

Well, now is time.....

The Miraculous Medal was created by Saint Catherine Laboure.  She was a french Sister of Charity, who in 1830 was awoken by a child's voice calling her to the chapel.  At the chapel she heard the Virgin Mary say to her "God wishes to charge you with a mission.  You will be contradicted, but do not fear; you will have the grace to do what is necessary.  Tell your spiritual director all that passes within you.  Times are evil in France and in the world."  Later that year, the Blessed Mother appeared to Catherine, during her evening meditation, and displayed herself within an oval frame, standing upon a globe with rays of lights coming from each of her fingers directed towards the globe.  Catherine noticed that not all the fingers has rays of light from them; when she asked Mary about this, Mary replied that the rays of light were graces, and the fingers without rays were graces that no one asks for. She also explained to Mary everything that should be placed on the Medal.

Catherine shared with her Spiritual Director everything that had happened and exactly what the Holy Mother had said to her.  After a couple of years of investigation, the priest took the medal design to the Bishop for his approval.  Once receiving the Bishop's blessing, the medal was created.

Mary had said to Catherine "All who wear the medal will receive great graces."

Now, knowing all this let's think about the issue of graces not being asked for.  I ask, "how can this be?  With all the people in this world, there are still graces we are leaving on the table?"  This is a sad realization.  I've asked in prayer "what graces am I leaving behind?"  Well, I cannot change the pass and correct my lack of prayer and reflection from my earlier years.  Now, I can think about graces and Mary's blessings.  When I look at my medal, I am

reminded that I need to pray for ALL the graces the Father has for me - whether I know I need them or not.  Some graces are hard to receive - they challenge us to change and improvement.  Other's push us to do things for other people we would normally not have thought of doing.  All of this is good - really it is.

Oh, and that story I told myself of not having the time - was just that a story.  We all have a couple of minutes each day to pray - even if it is just as we lay our head on our pillow.  I wished I had realized that when I was younger - perhaps I would have been a better mother and wife.  But we cannot live in the past. We can only live in the here and now - and it is now I pray each day for all of God's graces.