A Rosary in my Pocket

This past weekend, we hosted Sister Angela de Fatima Coelho from Fatima at our Parish (St. Anthony of Padua, Grand Rapids, MI).  She is the Sister who was chosen to be the Postulator for the canonization of the two of the smaller children of Fatima, Jacinta and Francisco.  And I have to say, she was simply marvelous, I could have listened to her all day.

Sister Angela told us the story of Fatima - the children were out tending the flock when they saw lightening and thought a storm was coming.  So, they began to head for home.  While doing so they came upon a bush where Jacinta and Lucia saw a beautiful lady and  knelt down.  Francisco - who thought his sister and cousin were out of their minds wanted to get home before the storm came.  At some point Jacinta and Lucia realized that Francisco could not see the beautiful lady and they asked her why could he not see her.  Her answer was for Francisco to pray his Rosary.  So they told Francisco to pray his rosary - Francisco, took his Rosary from his pocket and began to pray, while doing so, his vision was cleared and he began to see the beautiful lady.

This is where the story struck me -- Francisco took his Rosary from his pocket.  A seven year old child had his Rosary in his pocket (in fact all three of the children had their Rosary's with them.)  I began to think - do I have a Rosary in my pocket ready for prayers?  It's in my purse - does that count?  There is one by my bedside - can I count that?  But to be honest I needed to answer "no - I do not have a Rosary in my pocket ready for prayers."

Mary asked the children to pray their Rosary everyday.  I had this devotion a while ago, but have fallen away from it.  Why?  I would say it was laziness.  Honestly, I can pray a simple Rosary in about 15 minutes, if I'm adding Scripture to it - it could take a little longer.  How many 15 minute segments in my day do I waste away?

After hearing Sister Angela tell this wonderful story, I found myself with a renewed spirit to restart my devotion of praying my Rosary every day.  I also am working on keeping my Rosary with me - ready.  It's our greatest weapon to sin - and one we should all use.

When we pray our Rosary, just like Francisco, our vision will be cleared and we will begin to see God's hand at work in our lives and in the lives of those around us.  It brings many Graces with it.  For me, I always feel lighter and more hopeful.

There are many lessons we can learn from Fatima - and each of us needs to listen to the story once again (even if we think we know it by heart.)  I feel the biggest for me - at this time in my life - is the lesson of renewed spirit of prayer which will help me grow closer to the Lord.

So, I ask you - do you have your Rosary in your pocket - ready for prayers?  Join me in a renewal of this devotion and follow the instruction of our Holy Mother - to pray a Rosary every day.

You can hear Sister Angela here

Back to the Garden

In my Lenten Reading (The Last hours of Jesus by Fr. Ralph Gorman)  there is entire chapter on the Garden of Gethsemane.  Father takes us through Jesus’ prayer – his plead with the Father to remove this cup – his fight with his will versus the father’s – so much so he sweated blood. 

Early Christians was scandalized by Jesus’ agony – they felt since he was the Christ – there should not have been any issue.  But we need to remember – yes he was divine, but he was also fully human.

As I was praying and reflecting on Jesus’ agony – my husband was listening to the radio and a song came on by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young “Woodstock” – I find it fascinating how God can speak to us. 

When the song got to the lyrics of “and we’ve got to get ourselves back to the Garden” it hit me – like a ton of bricks.  That the Garden of Gethsemane is the new Garden of Eden.

We all know the story of Eve and her fall from grace when she ate from the “Tree of Life” because she believed what the serpent told her.  She followed her own will to be equal to God – and not God’s will who told her she could eat of any of the trees except the “Tree of Life.”  Here in Gethsemane we see Jesus (who is actually equal to God for he is God) struggle with bringing his will in line with the Father’s will.  Yes it was hard – agony – but he overcame his human nature to do as the Father has asked of him.

So I asked the Lord, what does this all mean? What am I to do with it?  For one – it shows us that it’s ok to ask God to take our struggles – but be prepared – the answer just might be “no.”  Jesus showed us that we may have to work to bring our will into line with God – to let go of what we want and follow what God wants.  The Lord understands our human nature is to protect ourselves – but Jesus has shown us we can overcome that nature.  We all have that moment in time when we are faced with a situation that goes against our will - something that it might be so easy to run from and hide - hoping it will just go away - but with Christ's example we know we can face anything and follow what the Lord is asking of us.

Holy Thursday is less than two weeks away – I can say with all honesty – I will see Jesus’ agony in the garden with new light and a new heart.  I am still struggling to let go of my will – it may take me a lifetime to do it.  But with Jesus’ help and the graces he has blessed me with – I am working to “get myself back to the garden.”

He Sighed from the Depth of His Spirit

As a kid, when I had done something really bad, my Mom would look at me and sigh.  And I knew what that meant; I was in trouble – big trouble.  The sigh was a precursor to the lecture and punishment that was to come.  I always dreaded when I heard that sigh.

In Monday’s Gospel (Mark 8:11-13) we hear the Pharisees once again badgering Jesus for a sign.  The Gospel writer tells us in response, Jesus “sighed from the depth of his spirit.”  I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty heavy and critical sigh.

This passage has had me thinking since I read it.  Sighing is one of those reactions that can have many meaning – it can be (as in my Mom’s case) in frustration, anger or sadness; it can come from loneliness or despair; but, it can also be one of happiness and satisfaction (think of the teen girls in the movies who sigh when they see the dreamboat captain of the football team.)  So, which one describes Jesus’ sigh?

I believe we can find a clue in the first reading.  We know that the first reading, which is from the Old Testament, is chosen to accompany the Gospel to add insight.  The reading with Monday’s Gospel was from Genesis 4:1-15, 25.  In this passage we hear about Cain and Abel – Abel brings God the best of his first fruits, Cain just picks something out – not necessarily the best and is upset that God was more pleased with Abel’s gift than Cain’s.  God sees this and approaches Cain – trying to encourage him to do better and reminding him that “sin is a demon lurking at the door.”  He also tells Cain that he is perfectly capable of becoming sin’s master instead of it’s slave.  But we all know what happens there - Cain kills Abel out of jealousy.

So, in light of the Genesis reading – I imagine Jesus’ reaction is one of frustration and sorrow.  “We still don’t get it.”  We ask for signs when the source of all life is standing right in our midst.  Mankind has not changed much from Cain to that very moment – we want what we want – and we expect to receive it – even though we might be too blind to see we already have it.

Like Cain, the Pharisees do not “get it” – which brings me to today – and I believe I do the same thing - I don't always "get it."  We can pray, pray, pray for the things we want – but we do not see what we already have – right in our hands.  Each Sunday (and some weekdays - you know weekday Masses are not just for the old) we receive the Body of Christ – the source of all love, joy, peace, mercy and hope – placed there right in our hands.  The things we want are of this world, and though we feel they are critical – in the big scheme of life – they really are not.  What is important is how we choose to live our life – one of demanding signs or one living in the joys of our God.

I don’t know about you, but today, I’m choosing joy.

A Measure of a Person

I think this story will be safe to share - I don't believe my husband reads my blog - and if he does - I will soon know....

A while back our refrigerator died and we needed a new one.  My husband measured the space several times and he felt he had what we needed.  We went shopping and picked out a new refrigerator based on his measurements.  When it was delivered however, we quickly learned that it was not going to fit.  There wasn't room for the door to open, and there was a light switch that it was tight against.  We ended up having to do a little home remodeling - taking down about 8" of wall and moving the light switch.  Whether when we looked at the measurements posted on the refrigerator they were the inside measurements or he measured incorrect, who knows we just knew something was not right.  Actually, I think it looks a little better with the changes we had to make, but that's a whole different story.

One of the Gospels for this week talked about measuring and it had me thinking about exactly what is measuring all about.  As I was researching this topic of measuring, I asked myself - "Is judging and measuring the same thing?"  I believe the answer is yes and no.  To be clear - these are my personal definitions.  To me judging is when we look at someone or something and hold it to our personal standards with us being the gold standard.  "She doesn't keep house as good as I do, so I judge her to be less than me." (just an example - my house is always in need of cleaning)  We are determining someone's worth based on our personal beliefs and standards.  Where measuring is something a little different, is when we are looking at people and things based on standards set by society or tools that we have created.  We can see where they are making progress.  But here is where it get's sticky - now, we can use those measurements to judge.  Just as when we were determining if a refrigerator would fit - my husband had used a measuring tape - we were not judging the refrigerator, we held it up to the measurements we had - but then we eliminated refrigerators if we judged that they were either too big or too small (or didn't have an ice maker - I desperately wanted an ice maker.)

So, when we "measure someone up" - we may be looking at how successful they are based on their education, income, profession, etc. We can also judge ourselves and measure our success by these same society standards.  I'm turning 60 and all the TV ads keep telling me I should have X number of dollars set aside for retirement, I do not have that amount, so I am not measuring up to others who are my same age and so I judge myself worth as being less..   These are standards set by our society - right or wrong.  For we can see by my refrigerator debacle that measurements can be wrong or incorrect.

Why is this important?  Jesus has told us that as we judge others, so shall we be judged, and what we use to measure, we will be measured.  That's a little scary.  It definitely makes me uncomfortable.  So, first we shouldn't be judging anyone or ourselves.  It's wrong and we know it.  It can be hard at times, but we must be strong.  Measuring someone or ourselves may not always be bad - it depends on what tools we use and what we are using them for.  And I believe (again this is my opinion) the only tool we should be using is the two commandments Jesus left for us.  Love God above all others, love others as we love ourselves. 

My next question - is why do we want to measure anyone or ourselves in the first place?  Sometimes I know I need to stop and reflect back on things - how I handled a situation or am I keeping the Lord first in my life.  And I measure my actions based on these two commandments.  And at times (no, really a lot of times) I can see that I did not measure up - this can help me to correct my actions, I may need to apologize to someone - or even to the Lord.  In writing this - I am seeing that perhaps we shouldn't be measuring anyone else - for then it is too easy to slide into judgement.  And when measuring ourselves - it should only be to improve our growth and not to determine our self worth.

This process has been a little eye opening for me; when I started my research, I thought measuring was ok, but now I can see it can lead to other problems (and more time in the confessional.)

Do Not Unpack and Get Comfortable

I will admit - I am a nest builder.  Whenever I've moved into a new home - I have thought about it, planned it, seen every room in my mind's eye.  When the faithful day comes, I know where I want each piece of furniture (movers love me - I can tell them exactly where to sit the couch and put the bed) and I know where to hang each picture upon the wall.  I feel safe, centered.  Life is in order. Life is good.  But is it?

And here comes the truth -- is this what God wants for our relationship with him - our journey to eternal life?  Do we tend to get to a point and stop for a while - unpack, hang pictures on the wall?  Go to Mass each Sunday, pray three Rosaries a week and pray before meals without a thought of the journey that the Lord has laid before us.  I know over my life I have many times - I grow,/move, arrive at a place and then get comfortable - too comfortable to move forward.  I come up with reasons why I cannot move - Lent is coming - so I will just stay here until Easter.  Easter comes, well it's Easter now - I like it here - I think I will hang another picture. And on and on and on it will go.

Our faith is one of growth - movement.  We are not meant to stop and move in.  We are meant to keep putting one foot in front of another.  Step by step till we reach the pinnacle of our love - the one who has loved us with an unending love - the one who created us, who loved us first.

So, why do we stop?  Why do we move in?  For me, I think it is one of fear of the unknown.  I like to understand and know what my next move will be. I tend to let life take my focus away, I can easily get "caught up" with what is going on around me and loose sight of what is stand right before me.

  But faith does not work that way - it will take us into the unknown - it takes our focus off of what is round us and moves it to what is in front of us - the Father's love.  Faith will take us to heights of which we have not dreamed of.  It will take us to people who we have not met or loved yet.  It is not always easy - it is not meant to be.  It is to be one of desire, longing, and movement.

In the Gospels we always see Jesus in movement - going from one city to the next, moving from one person to another.  We never hear of him "moving in" somewhere - even the cross could not keep him.

Growing in faith calls for movement - it calls for us to reach farther, experience God's love even deeper than we did yesterday.  It is one of learning, praying, doing.  We are called to love others as our selves.  We are called to love God above all others.  We are not called to stand still and settle in. - unpack and hang pictures.  This should  simply to be a rest stop; catch our breath and then arise and keep going.

This Lent will be for me a time of growth, movement.  I feel God's call to listen - hear His call - move closer and deeper in love with Him.  It does not mean I will abandon family and loved ones - just the opposite - my prayer is that they will join me on this journey. 

Now I need to take down those pictures....

You Have Loved Me First

When my son was young and I would tell him "no" about something he wanted or wanted to do - he would throw himself into a chair - announcing how much I did not love him and how I was the meanest mommy in the world.  I would respond one of two ways - either clap dramatically claiming I expected an Oscar out of him some day -- or if he used the meanest mommy line - I would exclaim - "Oh Good!  They are presenting the award soon - and I am so hoping to win!"  This usually made him laugh and diffused the situation so we could talk about why I had said no.

So, this morning I was reading my Magnificat and the last line from the morning hymn was "You, O Lord, have loved me first."  This got me thinking about a parent's love.  And I thought with a smile of when my son was young.  All the times we had to say no because what he wanted or wanted to do would not be good for him and how he would react.  And this made me think of all the prayers I have prayed and did not receive the answer I wanted - the Father had told me "no" - not because he was trying to be mean and didn't love me - but because he does love me.

We become so caught up with the here and now, we forget that the Father loved us long before we were ever born.  That he has called us each by our name - he knows how many hairs are on our head and freckles on our nose.

As much as I love my son, it no way compares to how much the Father loves me.  And, he has that vast love for each of us - even when we are throwing a temper tantrum and dramatically throwing ourselves into a chair - he LOVES us.

Knowing this, we should move boldly through the world - we should not be afraid to do the "right thing."  To speak-up for those who do not have a voice - to care for those who are unloved by society - and to love those children who's parents need help.  We can be so quick to judge - love does not judge - love is there no matter the situation.  And, love is there all the time - not just when it's convenient, not just when it can be squeezed into our calendar, not just on a holiday when it makes us feel good to do something for another person during that time of the year.

Advent is coming - it is a time for all of us to share the Father's love with one another - build habits of loving others that will carry forth long after the holiday ends.

I encourage you as we move into a new Liturgical Year - to make your life - a life of love - to find new ways you can love others - someone you may not know - someone who may be totally different from yourself.  For truly they are not different and unknown - they are loved by the Father the same as us - they, as we, are all part of the same family.

Commit to a year of loving others the same as your are loved by the Father. I believe by this time next year - your life will be completely different and so enriched with love you will wonder why it took you so long to do it.

I want to be a lowercase s saint

Let me give you some background - when I was born, my mother was in the process of joining the Catholic Church - the priest who was leading the classes came and visited us while we were still in the hospital and explained to my mother which Saint Therese to name me after.  Afterwards that priest ended up becoming a Bishop - so I'd like to think my name is blessed.  And I love reading and learning more about Saint Therese and her "little way."

This week while in Adoration in my church's chapel, I was beginning my prayers and discussion with the Lord.  After my initial prayers on my knees, I like to sit back and relax - like having a cup of coffee with an old friend - one you can say anything to and know they will not judge you - but give you great advise.  So there I was sitting, gazing at the Blessed Sacrament, telling God how great he was - that He was my God, my Lord, my Friend; that how in awe I am in in his creation.  And how thankful I am of his love and mercy.  And then I said it, "I want to be a saint."  Not a Capital S Saint - by a lowercase s saint.  And my thoughts drifted to St Therese.  For she too wanted to be a saint.  And she developed a marvelous way to do it.

One of the things I love about St. Therese is that she did not feel we had to suffer our way to heaven, but instead we had to "love" our way to heaven.  It is recognizing our littleness (compared to God) and that in the big scheme of things we are nothing more than little children who cannot climb the first step of the staircase and call out to our Lord who will come and lift us up.

Now, just what is a lowercase s saint and how does someone become one?  I believe she (in my case) would be someone who tries on a daily bases to do the Father's will.  Notice I said try - for we are all only human and we are destine to fail - but the key is not in the failing but in the ability to rise anew each morning and try again.  A lowercase s saint sees Christ in everyone and shares the love they have received with all who they encounter; they love life - all life - from conception to natural death; they love the marvelous creation the Father has placed in our hands.  And most important they recognize nothing can happen without the Father's love and mercy - they know we are not on the journey on our own.

So, declaring yourself a lowercase s saint may sound pretty scary - it was for me the first time those words crossed my lips; just what will be asked of me and what happens if I fail.  Let's think about it this way - first as I said earlier we are human and God knows we are human and he knows we will fail.  But it's faith that leads us to try again; and with the failing comes our growing in our trust in the Father to be there for us.  And second - the Lord has already given us everything we need to be a lowercase s saint for this is truly what he wants us to do.  He has equipped us with all kinds of blessings, gifts and tools to do the job; he has given us his Word in the Bible; he has sent the Holy Spirit to guide us and he has given us the sacraments to help sustain us on the journey.  So now, we just need to love our way to heaven.

I challenge you to join me - make the commitment to the Lord that you too what to be a lowercase s saint - we will travel together, failing and getting back up with each step knowing the Lord is at our side as any good parent would be cheering us on.

Also, if you have not read St. Therese' autobiography "The Story of a Soul" I highly recommend you pick a copy up - it is so enlightening; easy to read and relate to.

Everyone Else is Doing It

I recently was listening to talk radio, and someone said "everyone else is doing it" - this immediately took me back to my teenage years when I was trying to talk my mother into letting me do something.  My argument would usually include the phrase "everyone one else is doing it" and my mother's classic response was "well, I suppose if everyone else was running around naked, you would want to do it too."  Now, this makes me laugh today, then as a teenage girl longing to fit in with all my friends it only frustrated me.

In this past weekend's Gospel (Mark 10:17-30)  we hear about the rich man who asked Jesus what more could he do to insure he would inherit eternal life.  I'm sure he was thinking - I have done everything just as everyone else; I have followed the law to the "T" - I should be good.  But Jesus words stunned him - to go sell everything - and then give the money to the poor.  The Gospel tells us he went away sad for he had many possessions.

We are told through so much media what everyone else is doing and that we should be doing it too - what car to drive, were to go for vacation, how to host the perfect party, how our kids should dress.  These messages come to us from various locations - through TV advertising, magazines, TV shows and social media - and sometimes from our very friends and family members (I know I've been guilty of that.)  We all post what we are doing right (even if it's not the complete truth) - how everything is going great - and we are giving false hope to those who are not able to do exactly what "everyone else is."  As a young bride - the first question that was asked of me, was "when were we going to start having children" - God had other plans for my motherhood and I was not able to have biological children (we adopted) - and this frustrated everyone around me (especially if they did not know what was going on with our infertility issues.) And it frustrated me, for I knew that it was the norm to start a family shortly after getting married - it was expected of me.  We had been married for a year - I should be pregnant.  And then when we adopted - our son was 7 years old - not a baby - again we were not doing it right.  People around us did not know how to react.  But we knew our desire was to have a child in our life - it did not matter if he was an infant, toddler, or a Kindergartener.

Jesus' word to the rich man and to us are sometimes very hard to hear.  He challenges us to not always go with the norm - to think outside the box - to following God's will and not the will of everyone around us.  These words can be scary - and they can take us into uncharted territory.  But when we do follow God's will - there comes a peace with it - no matter how everyone else may feel - we can be at peace.

So, what is God's will for our lives?  Good question - and one I don't believe to have a set answer - for it is different for each and everyone of us.  We are all given different gifts and graces from God.  Each one to help us follow his will - our spiritual tool box so to speak.  One person may be good with the elderly and finds visiting them and taking them Communion is very fulfilling while others would not. Some may find happiness in raising a healthy happy family full of children - others would go crazy (I would have been one of those going crazy - thank God for unanswered prayers.)  We need to each find our place in God's world - we each need to find how to uses the gifts and graces God has blessed us with and we all need to find peace that it's okay to not "do what everyone else is doing."  There comes a time when we must grow in unusual places.  How to do this - prayer lots and lots of prayer.

And we need to find a way to accept those who do not do things as society has told us - for we are all God's children.

My Brokenness

I had been at the VA with my 82 year old Dad for his Pre-Op Exam appointment.  He has been diagnosed with bladder cancer and stage 4 kidney failure.  I had pushed his wheelchair all over the facilities - we started with the scheduling nurse, then on to labs, third floor for a chest x-ray and seventh floor for an EKG, then back to the first floor to meet with the nurse practitioner for the rest of the exam.  It's a two hour drive for me to meet him and my uncle at the VA (I'm coming from the north, they are coming from the south.)  But, here is the rub, my Dad has not necessarily been the best Dad in the world - and now he is being a real pain.  He is grouchy, rude, and mean. He does not appreciate when anyone does any type of kindness to him and always has a hard opinion about everyone in the world.  When he and my brother are together - it is impossible - oil and water.  But, here I am - with all the emotions from childhood stirred up; pushing him around the hospital.  I feel as a good Christian Catholic I have a duty to be here since he is my Dad, no matter what our past holds.  But then I'm human with all my faults and brokenness; I just want to run away from the whole thing.  It has been very hard, and a test of faith.

That evening though was something very special and healing and it became clear quickly it was just what I needed.  I attended an exceptional evening at my parish to honor our Holy Mother Mary.

We have an unusual statue of Mary at our Church - she is called "Broken Mary."  Kevin Matthews, one of my fellow parishioners found her by a dumpster, broken in half, chipped, and faded by the sun.  After a little negotiating, the shop owner relented to allow Kevin to bring Mary home.  He had a company fix her a little, they had first wanted to make her perfect - but Kevin had said no - he wanted the cracks and imperfections - for she represents our brokenness.  Kevin has written a book on Broken Mary and you can find it here on Amazon.  She resides in my Parish Church, but she is out and about visiting others many a time.

So, back to our special night - it was called "Broken Mary 2.0"  Kevin shared his story and how Broken Mary - who has traveled all over the city, the state, and beyond, has changed his life and the lives of so many who have been touched by her.  He shared that he feels her calling him to bring us all back to the devotion of the Rosary.  And during the evening we also had a very wonderful treat from John Angotti.  He has written a very special song for Broken Mary entitled "Mary's House."  If you are not familiar with John's music - I recommend to you to learn more about him - He did a Parish Mission at my Church this past spring and it was inspiring.

For me, this was such a special evening of healing - my eyes filled with tears from the start when as a faith community we prayed a Rosary and to the very end of the evening with John singing again his song for Mary. 

It is truly amazing how the Father gives us exactly what we need - when we need it.  I was very broken that day - and found I was completely healed by Mary's love.  When we entrust our brokenness to Mary - she shares the love and healing of her merciful son with us.  If you too are feeling brokenness - prayer to our Holy Mother for the graces of love and peace - and pray a Rosary - you will find welcoming and grace within her Motherly embrace.

Broken Mary - Diocese of Grand Rapids, MI

Broken Mary - Dynamic Catholic

I Will Help You

I am on my way to work on a Monday morning.  It's raining just enough to be a nuisance and I come up to a slow down on the highway where we are bumper to bumper crawling along at 20 miles an hour.  And I hear myself say "I'm so tired."

But, wait, is that right?  No, I'm not physically tired for I just had 8 good hours of sleep and a pretty quiet weekend.  What I really am is mentally tired.  Between regular worries such paying the bills and such, I am worried about the declining health of a family member, and also there is always my "To Do" list which seems to grow more each time I cross something off. I find myself thinking "God just take me from this, let me spend my days praying and worshiping you and not dealing with this day in day out stuff of my life."

Why does God have us here?  Why can life at times seem so hard?  Why? Why? Why?

I've joked many times with friends about my list I have to ask God about when I reach heaven - war, terrorism, famine, and such.  But I also have on this list -  why in the world would he let me wear hip hugging bell bottoms in the 70's - I look back at the pictures and shriek - then again God made the Ostrich so I know he have a sense of humor; and is there really aliens from outer space here on earth - I think I may have been watching too much "Ancient Aliens" on the History Channel.

So many questions, so little answers.  But, perhaps that is just the point.  Nothing builds faith more than adversity - we always grow closer to the Father in the valleys of our lives than on the mountain tops.  It is just like seeing a beautiful sunrise after days of rain and grey skies -- I know we will all marvel at the light of Christ.

When we experience difficulties within our lives, we have a choice -- will we turn to God or away from him.  Choosing Christ will not magically make all our troubles disappear, but what it does do, is gives us someone who will walk this path beside us; it gives us hope and it gives us peace.  Have you ever experiences someone who seems to be able to handle everything life has thrown at them?  They are sometimes referred to as a "rock" or "someone who can take everything in stride."  I bet if you could take a good deep look into their life, you would find that they are very grounded with Christ at it's center.  This grounding gives them a peace that no matter what comes at them - the Lord is there by their side.

Choosing Christ allows us to build our faith and our trust in the Lord.  With each little struggle we entrust to the Father we receive graces which helps strengthen us to work through our problems.  At times we may just need to quiet the world - the grace of peace can do this and will allow us to think through our problems.  I at times begin to fill overwhelmed with some problems and will pray for God to grant me the Grace of Clarity.  I will soon find I am able to beak down the problem into bit size pieces which are no longer so massive that I cannot see the end of the tunnel.  Now, would I get to that point without the Lord's help?  Maybe - but I do not believe that I would have the same peace as I do when the Father is at my side.

God is always there for us - we just need to ask.

For I am the Lord, your God, who grasp your right hand; It is I who say to you, "Fear not, I will help you."   Isaiah 41:13

Allowing Your Light to Shine

As a child, my cousins would always call me a little miss goodie two shoes.  I don't know about you, but for me, that always seemed like a derogatory name.  I don't really know where my nature to be of service to others has come from - but I believe the Angels must have been whispering in my ears from my birth.  Do I get it right all the time, absolutely not - but that is how we all learn.

As an adult, I have worked for various non-profits and volunteered for many different organizations.  I can remember one place I worked, the department I was in was very busy and most did not have time to participate in the volunteer opportunities our employer asked of us, so I tried to do more to represent our department.  And I was shocked when my supervisor told me that those employees in the department who were very busy - actually complained.  I can remember my answer "well, if they would do more, I believe I would not feel that I need to carry the load for our department."  Maybe not the more elegant answer (I can be very defensive when cornered.)  I now can see that they were either jealous that I took the time to help or they felt bad because they could not - most likely the later.  Today, I am part of an organization which is all about giving service to others and we are highly encouraged to do so.

I truly believe we are here to serve each other and when we hold back because of fear of what others may think, or say, we are holding on to the very gifts and graces which the Father has given us.  And when we simply don't want to help another person - well, I would suggest you might want to go to confession (just a thought.)

Serving others may not be the most lucrative activity - in fact it may cost you - energy, time and money.  But honestly when you help another, you receive back so much more that cannot be measured in this world's terms.  Serving others may not be easy - it may be work - it may be hard - it may physically test and challenge you.  But I ask you, (ok - prepare yourself for
here comes a little Catholic guilt)  was it easy for our Lord to pick up and carry his cross to Calvary?  I believe we all know the answer.  We are all called to do works of Mercy and Charity.  As Catholics it should be part of our DNA - if it is not part of yours - pray to the Holy Spirit for an infusion.

But what if you are not physically able to give service - is all lost?  Absolutely not, for you can pray for those who do give physical service and pray for those who need service.  Prayers are our most powerful tool.

If you are at a loss of what to do - perhaps you are newbie at service or now have a family you would like to include - I have a few suggestions -- look at your Parish bulletin for ideas, ask others where they volunteer, check out your diocese website.  Another idea is that Advent will soon be upon us - you could create an Advent Calendar which calls you to do something for another person each day - this is great for a family - items could include visiting a nursing home (adopt a senior), writing personal greetings to people you have not reached out to lately or you know they may be struggling with the holidays, take cookies to your local fire fighters - and I'm sure you can think of many more. 

I've found a links with lots more suggestions:

Catholic Link - acts of Charity

Now is the time to let your light shine - the world needs us more than ever -- people all around you can be blessed by your actions today.

Seeing the Feet of God

Let me set the scene -- it was my first weekend retreat (Friday evening through Sunday.)  As my friend and me checked in, we were given a notebook (what in the world was this for?) and told this was a silent retreat (what?!) - the whole retreat - even during meals we were not to speak to each other.  Father would have lectures both morning and afternoon for us to meditate upon.

Those who know me, know I can be a very talkative person (I cannot tell you how many times I got in trouble in school for talking - but trust me it was a lot) - and then put me with 50 other women and tell me I cannot talk with them over the course of the next three days -- well, you can guess it, I went crazy.  I had not been prepared for this.  So, what did I do?  I pouted - "poor me."  I did attend some of the lectures, but the temptation to talk was strong, which lead me to spend more time in my room praying and reading.

But I did participate in one important part - we had a Holy Hour on Saturday evening (which is an hour in adoration before the Blessed Sacrament.)  Now before this time I had been trying in my mind's eye to look at Christ on the Cross - but all I could see was his feet.  I could not force my eyes upwards -- I believe I was in fear of what I would see - for I know I am a sinner, and am not truly worthy of God's love.

During the Holy Hour - while I was meditating on Christ's sacrifice - I once again tried to look at Jesus on the cross - I started seeing his feet once again in mind's eye, but then a marvelous thing happened.  My eyes moved upward and I saw the face of Jesus.  It was swollen and badly beaten, bruised and bloodied.  Then my eyes looked into his eyes - where I did not see judgement or anger, but rather mercy and forgiveness.  And most of all, I saw love.  His love for me but also his love for the whole world.  Here I had been all weekend thinking about myself, and not allowing something new to move me closer to the Lord.

This was a definite turning point in my relations with Christ.  Each time now, when I feel that I am being small and only concerned with my needs - I see in my mind's eye his face - and I know we are not here to do for only our needs - we are here to love the Father for his sacrifice and mercy.  We are then to take that glorious love of his and share it with one another.  His love cannot be kept to ourselves - it must be shared.

Have you tried to truly look at Christ on the cross in your mind's eye?  If not, I encourage you to try -- put yourself at the foot of the cross and look upwards.  I feel confident in saying, I know whatever you will find will change you - challenge you - and deepen your relationship with the Lord.

What's Sitting on my Reading Table

I just love to read - to find a quiet place in my home and curl up with a good book in my opinion is an excellent way to spend time.  Some of the books I read are just for fun (I love cozy mysteries) and others speak to my soul. Right now I am reading one of those "speaks to my soul" books.  While I was on retreat, I found this book in the gift shop.

It is "Clare of Assisi" by Illa Delio.  What a wonderful gem!  Honestly, I did not know anything about St. Clare other than that she was with St. Francis.  This book takes us on her journey to God.  She has outlined four parts of her path - the first is the Gaze, second Consider, third Contemplate and then finally desire to imitate Jesus.

I am in awe of this women!  Here we have someone who did not have a high education, and yet she has developed a philosophy of Love that can change each and everyone of us.

I will just share her first part of her path - Gaze Upon Him.  At first I was not sure what she meant - but the more I read, the more I came into an understanding.  As we look upon the Crucified Christ - we should see the Crucifix as a mirror which reflects ourselves back to us.  For in the cross we should find what we need for life and what we should become - love, compassion, obedience to name just a few.  Christ did not "have to" go to his death on the cross - he did it for the love of us and the love of the Father.  He demonstrates such compassion for us - even if we do not know we need it - there is Mercy on that Cross! And obedience - again - Jesus just need to say one word and the Angels would have descended from Heaven to rescue him.  But Jesus was obedient to the Father - he chose to follow God's Will and not his own.  Can we say the same about us?  I know this part of the path alone will be a life long journey for me.

I will admit the introduction and first chapter was a challenge to read - I'm wondering if now that I have almost finished reading the book, it might be good to go back over those two section.  But as I read more, the more I was drawn in.  My highlighter was flying.

I found it on Amazon: Clare of Assisi A Heart Full of Love

I am sure you can also ask your local Catholic Book shop, if they do not have it in stock, to order it for you.

I give it two thumbs up!

My Great Escape!

The phone is ringing, the TV blaring, my "To Do" list seems to grow more than I cross off, meals to cook, laundry to do, and I do not understand how two cats can leave this much hair on the floor and not be naked!

Calgon - Take me away!!

Better yet -- Lord take me away!

I have found every year I need a break from the world and time with the Lord to refresh my soul.

This past weekend I enjoyed my annual retreat.  Several years ago I found the Hermitages with the Franciscan Sisters of Sylvania Ohio. The Hermitage consist of a one room cabin with a bed, recliner, desk and a small kitchenette - plus a bathroom.  There are 2 cabins and they are nestled in a small valley surrounded with trees.  There is no TV, phone, or WiFi.  It is truly a place made for peace and prayer.

The Campus is full of sculpture and fora with wonderful little places to sit and prayer or simply be.  The Sisters have also built a smaller scale replica of the Chapel built by St. Francis in Assisi Italy where the Blessed Sacrament resides in the Tabernacle. 

The beauty of the space is that my retreat time is my own design.  I always come loaded with a tote full of books, not knowing which way the Lord will take me.  My first year I read about St. Monica, other years I have studied Mercy.  Last year I found a book in my stash that I did not know I had, let along remember packing it - and it was just what I needed for the weekend.  This year was no different, but instead of finding something in what I brought with me; I found a book in the gift shop on St. Clare - which took my retreat in a beautiful direction.  I will share more about this book in a later post.

So, why do I find it necessary to go away for a long weekend to pray?  This answer is very simple - Holy Silence.

To be honest, I know I get a little lazy over the year in my prayer life routine.  I allow other things to easily distract me - the bathroom needs cleaning, the cat hair needs vacuuming again, I have planned a lunch with girlfriends.  Here on retreat all those items are removed - your only focus is experiencing God's love.

I always come home with a special peace that words cannot describe and my faith is truly deepened. I absolutely cherish this special time each year.

Now, my question to you --- could your relationship with the Lord benefit from some dedicated "alone time?"  I'm going to assume your answer is "yes."  I found my haven through a "Google" search.  I just searched for "Catholic Retreats near me."  If you want more information on the Hermitages, let me know - I will be thrilled to share.   

Being Holy in Today's World

When I was in 8th grade, I told my mother I wanted to become a Sister - she said - no I did not.  Being a dutiful daughter, I thought, well, perhaps I don't then - mom should know best.  There has been many times in my life that I have regretted that decision and other times I am thankful for it.  The Sisters had taken me several times that year to the mother house for retreats.  I found the life of a Sister to be inspiring - to be able to spend so much time in prayer, to be so close to the Lord.  To me - they were living holy lives.  But, I've come to understand that taking the veil is not the only way to be close to the Father.

As I looked to the lives of the saints, I wonder how in the world could I ever be at their level of holiness with the Father.  I mean - as a mother and wife there are so many things that can distract you from prayer - the meals to be cooked, beds to be made, bathrooms to be cleaned.  Not to mention working full time while doing it.  There was no way I would even be able find 15 quiet minutes to pray a rosary.  I am sure any parent can relate.

 I feel we are being constantly hit with news, gossip, bad language, etc today we become numb to it. I have to force myself to turn off the TV and put down my phone.  This makes me question "How in the world can anyone be Holy today?"

So, let's ask the question - "Just what is being Holy?"  Is it like the pictures of the saints of old?  Do we need to wander and preach? I don't think so.  There is a need for lots of prayer - but I am not referring to being on our knees before the Crucifix for hours at a time, though there may be a need of that a time or two in our lives.  I am speaking to the realization that everything I did for my family was a prayer - the cooking, the cleaning, the driving to sporting practices and cub scout meetings, all the laundry I did - and trust me - doing laundry for a stinking teenage boy was a true sacrifice to the senses (I believe all parents of teen boys can attest to this) - each and every thing was a prayer to the Lord.  And it is so easy for us to forget that today.

Our lives can be a constant prayer and a path to holiness when we bring the Father into everything we do.  And I believe this is exactly what the saints did.  We only hear about the defining moments in their lives - what we don't hear about is the everyday struggles they faced.  And that is exactly the saints lives we need to strive for on our path to holiness.  It become of letting go of "me" and becoming a person who's focus in on the needs of others.  It is bandaging the skinned knees, baking the last minute cookies for school, and trusting that each time our child leaves the house they will be safe.  It is calling a friend who you know is struggling and cooking the dish for a funeral dinner.  It is everything we do - no matter how great or how small - it all becomes our prayer and a path to holiness.

So the next time you are cleaning the floor or changing the sheets - dedicate your work to the Lord and ask Him to bless the lives of all those who will benefit from your efforts.  Trust me - you will never look at a dirty dish the same again.

Joy and Happiness

We hear in many of the Gospels, Jesus talking about true joy; and this made me wonder - what exactly is true joy.  So, the last time I was with my Spiritual Director, I asked her - what did Jesus mean when he talked about true joy - and isn't joy and happiness the same thing?

Well her answer surprised me a bit, though once I thought about it, it made sense.  Happiness comes from the actions and things of this world - it is a feeling -- as when you look outside to a pleasant sunny morning or perhaps you are in a public place and you look down at your child to see them actually behaving or your husband puts his socks in the laundry without being asked - or even greater - your husband puts his dirty dish in the dishwasher instead of just leaving it in the sink (yes, this would be a wonder and would bring great happiness in my home - lol.)  But all those things which brings happiness is based on the weather and the behavior of another person.  It could be when you score the perfect outfit - or you ordered something on line and when it came it actually fit - trust me - that would be true happiness.  But happiness can be diminished and even disappear by other's actions too.

But joy can only come from the Lord - it has nothing to do with the actions of things in this world - in fact it has nothing really to do with our physical actions - it is a product of God's love for us and of our love for Him.  And that is what it is connected to - Love.  God's love is eternal, unfathomably great - it is always there - it is constant  -- and the more we love God and do His Will - the more joy we receive - for our hearts and souls are then in sync with the Father. And joy - cannot go away based on our mood or our actions - or lack of actions -- it is a permanent fixture.

I can have happiness without great love - you cannot have joy without it.

Well, as I said this all seemed to make sense once I thought about it  - but I wanted to do a little research on joy and happiness.  And I wanted to know what it truly is based on in Catholic teaching- so I turned to two sources - Pope Francis and the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  And here is what I found:

Pope Francis in his homily of May 31, 2014 said "likened this joy given by God to the joy a mother embracing her baby after childbirth, because it is a joy 'purified' by the suffering of labor.  The joy of the Christians, is a 'joy in hope.'"

And in the Catechism I found "Joy can be described as a more complete, ecstatic, consuming passion where happiness is an emotion/a feeling.  Happiness is our response to events in this world/outside influences we find happiness is a response to happenstance, contentment, good luck, prosperity or good fortune, Happiness is connected with pleasure."  CCC 1723, 1720, 301

Pope Francis put joy it in terms all mother's can understand; that immense feeling of new life coming into the world and how it is tied to our hope in the Father; and the Catechism gave a good explanation of happiness and how it is connected with pleasure and not joy.

So, what does all this mean to me right now - right here on earth - typing my blog on my kitchen table?  Well, for one thing - I know that joy is something I want; it is not something I can get by my actions or the actions of others - and I know I want to receive as much of the Father's love as one could receive.  I want to experience complete joy!  And as a bonus - come this Christmas - when we will sing "Joy to the World,"  I will know we are actually singing "God's Love Comes in to the World."

Mary and the Miraculous Medal

As Catholic Women we like to wear Medals of Mary, I know I do.  I purchased the current one I wear when I completed a Consecration to Mary and it was part of the actual consecration where Father would bless all of our medals.  There are many different medals to Mary - each with their own story and inspiration of Mary.  The one I wear and want to share with you is the Miraculous Medal.

Before I completed the Consecration, I had heard of the Miraculous Medal, knew it was about Mary, and that is about it.  When you are a young mom - there is so much going on in your life, you don't have or take the time to really study different Medals.  You simply trust the one you are wearing (which usually was a gift) will do it's job and protect you and your family.  We always think, once the kids are grown, I'll take the time.  At least that is what I said to myself and to God.

Well, now is time.....

The Miraculous Medal was created by Saint Catherine Laboure.  She was a french Sister of Charity, who in 1830 was awoken by a child's voice calling her to the chapel.  At the chapel she heard the Virgin Mary say to her "God wishes to charge you with a mission.  You will be contradicted, but do not fear; you will have the grace to do what is necessary.  Tell your spiritual director all that passes within you.  Times are evil in France and in the world."  Later that year, the Blessed Mother appeared to Catherine, during her evening meditation, and displayed herself within an oval frame, standing upon a globe with rays of lights coming from each of her fingers directed towards the globe.  Catherine noticed that not all the fingers has rays of light from them; when she asked Mary about this, Mary replied that the rays of light were graces, and the fingers without rays were graces that no one asks for. She also explained to Mary everything that should be placed on the Medal.

Catherine shared with her Spiritual Director everything that had happened and exactly what the Holy Mother had said to her.  After a couple of years of investigation, the priest took the medal design to the Bishop for his approval.  Once receiving the Bishop's blessing, the medal was created.

Mary had said to Catherine "All who wear the medal will receive great graces."

Now, knowing all this let's think about the issue of graces not being asked for.  I ask, "how can this be?  With all the people in this world, there are still graces we are leaving on the table?"  This is a sad realization.  I've asked in prayer "what graces am I leaving behind?"  Well, I cannot change the pass and correct my lack of prayer and reflection from my earlier years.  Now, I can think about graces and Mary's blessings.  When I look at my medal, I am

reminded that I need to pray for ALL the graces the Father has for me - whether I know I need them or not.  Some graces are hard to receive - they challenge us to change and improvement.  Other's push us to do things for other people we would normally not have thought of doing.  All of this is good - really it is.

Oh, and that story I told myself of not having the time - was just that a story.  We all have a couple of minutes each day to pray - even if it is just as we lay our head on our pillow.  I wished I had realized that when I was younger - perhaps I would have been a better mother and wife.  But we cannot live in the past. We can only live in the here and now - and it is now I pray each day for all of God's graces.

Ode to My Lord

Jesus my Lord, my love, my joy

You are my brother, my father, my King.

You give Hope to the despaired

You bring Light to those in darkness

You bring Comfort to those in pain

You bring Peace to those who's hearts are troubled.

In you I have  found Love, Gladness and Mercy.

In you I have receive strength

In you I find rest.

I give you all the glory and honor!

For you have picked me up when I have fallen

You have fed me when I was hungry

You have heard my cries.

All the days of my life I will sing of your goodness,

And I will praise you holy name till the ends of time.

Waiting on God

I know I've heard many times - God's timing is not our timing; and that all things will comes as he ordains it.  That is all well and good, but it does not make the waiting any easier.  I will admit it - I can be a very impatient person, and waiting for God's time has me drumming my fingers.

Lately I've been reading a lot about St. Therese and St. Faustina and their desires of an early death, not wanting to remain in this world, but to quickly move into the next. to be even closer to the Lord.  This has been laying heavy on my mind and I have found myself also praying for God's deliverance.  I so look forward to standing before the Lord and have felt my time here on earth may be just biding my time to return home.

All this being said, a few weeks ago, while in Adoration, I was gently reminded that I am already in the presence of the Lord. (It's that tap of the Holy 2x4 to the forehead I like to refer to - "Hello Theresa - wake up - I'm talking to you.")  For God is in the essence of everything around me - everything I see, eat, feel, hear; God is already there.  He is also in every person who cross my path - whether in person, on the phone, or in the digital media.  He is there - He is with me - He is with all of us.  And even though I many not physically see that I am standing before the Throne of God - I am - actually, we all are.

God is a loving father - he would never leave us here alone to navigate these trouble waters.  And being here on earth is defiantly not a waste of time, but an opportunity to do his will.  We all have a (or more) mission(s) - and we may not even have a clue as to what that mission is - and that is okay; for if we continue to follow the path set before us - the Holy Spirit will lead us to it and help us to accomplish the task set before us.

So, does this help with my impatience - somewhat - I keep laughingly telling my husband - that God keeps giving me "opportunities" to practice being patient. It is truly a work in process.

Does the realization that God is constantly with us in everything we do, say, pray; give me any comfort -- that would be a definite YES.  I find I look at the world with different eyes since that day in the chapel of my Church.  And I am finding that if the Father can be in the smallest of details of nature - than I certainly can let go of my wants for the future and trust in his timing, no matter how long that would be - with no finger drumming.

Give to Caesar

As you may know, the Bible will speak to us with the message we need receive at that time.  The last time I read this Gospel (Mark 12:13-17) I found I was thinking about how everything belongs to God and my thoughts then went to many things including the people he has put in my life and the lovely nature outside my window to name just a few.  I found my prayers were ones of thankfulness for the bounty the Father has placed before me without even realizing it.

Today, though – my thoughts go to how everyone on this earth belongs to God – the good, the bad and the ugly.  We are all made from his love.  And I as I shared a few weeks ago, I feel an urging to pray for all the people of this earth.  Not just the saintly, but for all of us.

I envision the Father as a grandparent who is anxiously waiting for us to come home.  Perhaps there is a great feast in the process (I know my great-grandmother would cook for days before we would arrive.)  He has set a light in the window to guide us and welcome us home.  But he also sends out the Holy Spirit to walk every step with us.  And as we arrive his arms are opened wide ready to embrace us and a great banquet is set out to celebrate our home coming.  Yes, we have all sinned and we have all failed him – but this should not hold us back from receiving his love, for just as great is his love, is the greatness of his Mercy too.

So today, I pray for those who evil has taken a hold of – they have believed the lies whispered in their ears.  They are being used to try to destroy them and anyone that comes in contact with them.  What evil does not seem to understand is that it can destroy this body, but it can not change or destroy my soul/spirit.  I was created from the love of the Father, and no matter what happens here on earth – that fact will never change.  

I pray for those who have turned their backs to God.  For just as the lost lamb, they have wondered off without realizing it, and then they find themselves are too far away to make their way home without help.  That is where our prayers come in, for them to realize the Holy Spirit is right beside them, urging them upon the path where they can be found.  They just need to reach out and receive.

I pray for those who have never experienced the Father’s love.  They are unaware of what joy and love await them.

And, I pray for all the souls of this world, those who came before us, those who walk upon it now and those yet to come.  I pray for God’s love – a love so great, so grand it is unfathomable – to rain down upon this earth, that his light will brighten even the darkest of corners.  And that we all, everyone of us, find the path that will lead us home to his love and welcoming embrace.