You Have Loved Me First

When my son was young and I would tell him "no" about something he wanted or wanted to do - he would throw himself into a chair - announcing how much I did not love him and how I was the meanest mommy in the world.  I would respond one of two ways - either clap dramatically claiming I expected an Oscar out of him some day -- or if he used the meanest mommy line - I would exclaim - "Oh Good!  They are presenting the award soon - and I am so hoping to win!"  This usually made him laugh and diffused the situation so we could talk about why I had said no.

So, this morning I was reading my Magnificat and the last line from the morning hymn was "You, O Lord, have loved me first."  This got me thinking about a parent's love.  And I thought with a smile of when my son was young.  All the times we had to say no because what he wanted or wanted to do would not be good for him and how he would react.  And this made me think of all the prayers I have prayed and did not receive the answer I wanted - the Father had told me "no" - not because he was trying to be mean and didn't love me - but because he does love me.

We become so caught up with the here and now, we forget that the Father loved us long before we were ever born.  That he has called us each by our name - he knows how many hairs are on our head and freckles on our nose.

As much as I love my son, it no way compares to how much the Father loves me.  And, he has that vast love for each of us - even when we are throwing a temper tantrum and dramatically throwing ourselves into a chair - he LOVES us.

Knowing this, we should move boldly through the world - we should not be afraid to do the "right thing."  To speak-up for those who do not have a voice - to care for those who are unloved by society - and to love those children who's parents need help.  We can be so quick to judge - love does not judge - love is there no matter the situation.  And, love is there all the time - not just when it's convenient, not just when it can be squeezed into our calendar, not just on a holiday when it makes us feel good to do something for another person during that time of the year.

Advent is coming - it is a time for all of us to share the Father's love with one another - build habits of loving others that will carry forth long after the holiday ends.

I encourage you as we move into a new Liturgical Year - to make your life - a life of love - to find new ways you can love others - someone you may not know - someone who may be totally different from yourself.  For truly they are not different and unknown - they are loved by the Father the same as us - they, as we, are all part of the same family.

Commit to a year of loving others the same as your are loved by the Father. I believe by this time next year - your life will be completely different and so enriched with love you will wonder why it took you so long to do it.

Everyone Else is Doing It

I recently was listening to talk radio, and someone said "everyone else is doing it" - this immediately took me back to my teenage years when I was trying to talk my mother into letting me do something.  My argument would usually include the phrase "everyone one else is doing it" and my mother's classic response was "well, I suppose if everyone else was running around naked, you would want to do it too."  Now, this makes me laugh today, then as a teenage girl longing to fit in with all my friends it only frustrated me.

In this past weekend's Gospel (Mark 10:17-30)  we hear about the rich man who asked Jesus what more could he do to insure he would inherit eternal life.  I'm sure he was thinking - I have done everything just as everyone else; I have followed the law to the "T" - I should be good.  But Jesus words stunned him - to go sell everything - and then give the money to the poor.  The Gospel tells us he went away sad for he had many possessions.

We are told through so much media what everyone else is doing and that we should be doing it too - what car to drive, were to go for vacation, how to host the perfect party, how our kids should dress.  These messages come to us from various locations - through TV advertising, magazines, TV shows and social media - and sometimes from our very friends and family members (I know I've been guilty of that.)  We all post what we are doing right (even if it's not the complete truth) - how everything is going great - and we are giving false hope to those who are not able to do exactly what "everyone else is."  As a young bride - the first question that was asked of me, was "when were we going to start having children" - God had other plans for my motherhood and I was not able to have biological children (we adopted) - and this frustrated everyone around me (especially if they did not know what was going on with our infertility issues.) And it frustrated me, for I knew that it was the norm to start a family shortly after getting married - it was expected of me.  We had been married for a year - I should be pregnant.  And then when we adopted - our son was 7 years old - not a baby - again we were not doing it right.  People around us did not know how to react.  But we knew our desire was to have a child in our life - it did not matter if he was an infant, toddler, or a Kindergartener.

Jesus' word to the rich man and to us are sometimes very hard to hear.  He challenges us to not always go with the norm - to think outside the box - to following God's will and not the will of everyone around us.  These words can be scary - and they can take us into uncharted territory.  But when we do follow God's will - there comes a peace with it - no matter how everyone else may feel - we can be at peace.

So, what is God's will for our lives?  Good question - and one I don't believe to have a set answer - for it is different for each and everyone of us.  We are all given different gifts and graces from God.  Each one to help us follow his will - our spiritual tool box so to speak.  One person may be good with the elderly and finds visiting them and taking them Communion is very fulfilling while others would not. Some may find happiness in raising a healthy happy family full of children - others would go crazy (I would have been one of those going crazy - thank God for unanswered prayers.)  We need to each find our place in God's world - we each need to find how to uses the gifts and graces God has blessed us with and we all need to find peace that it's okay to not "do what everyone else is doing."  There comes a time when we must grow in unusual places.  How to do this - prayer lots and lots of prayer.

And we need to find a way to accept those who do not do things as society has told us - for we are all God's children.

What's Sitting on my Reading Table

I just love to read - to find a quiet place in my home and curl up with a good book in my opinion is an excellent way to spend time.  Some of the books I read are just for fun (I love cozy mysteries) and others speak to my soul. Right now I am reading one of those "speaks to my soul" books.  While I was on retreat, I found this book in the gift shop.

It is "Clare of Assisi" by Illa Delio.  What a wonderful gem!  Honestly, I did not know anything about St. Clare other than that she was with St. Francis.  This book takes us on her journey to God.  She has outlined four parts of her path - the first is the Gaze, second Consider, third Contemplate and then finally desire to imitate Jesus.

I am in awe of this women!  Here we have someone who did not have a high education, and yet she has developed a philosophy of Love that can change each and everyone of us.

I will just share her first part of her path - Gaze Upon Him.  At first I was not sure what she meant - but the more I read, the more I came into an understanding.  As we look upon the Crucified Christ - we should see the Crucifix as a mirror which reflects ourselves back to us.  For in the cross we should find what we need for life and what we should become - love, compassion, obedience to name just a few.  Christ did not "have to" go to his death on the cross - he did it for the love of us and the love of the Father.  He demonstrates such compassion for us - even if we do not know we need it - there is Mercy on that Cross! And obedience - again - Jesus just need to say one word and the Angels would have descended from Heaven to rescue him.  But Jesus was obedient to the Father - he chose to follow God's Will and not his own.  Can we say the same about us?  I know this part of the path alone will be a life long journey for me.

I will admit the introduction and first chapter was a challenge to read - I'm wondering if now that I have almost finished reading the book, it might be good to go back over those two section.  But as I read more, the more I was drawn in.  My highlighter was flying.

I found it on Amazon: Clare of Assisi A Heart Full of Love

I am sure you can also ask your local Catholic Book shop, if they do not have it in stock, to order it for you.

I give it two thumbs up!

Joy and Happiness

We hear in many of the Gospels, Jesus talking about true joy; and this made me wonder - what exactly is true joy.  So, the last time I was with my Spiritual Director, I asked her - what did Jesus mean when he talked about true joy - and isn't joy and happiness the same thing?

Well her answer surprised me a bit, though once I thought about it, it made sense.  Happiness comes from the actions and things of this world - it is a feeling -- as when you look outside to a pleasant sunny morning or perhaps you are in a public place and you look down at your child to see them actually behaving or your husband puts his socks in the laundry without being asked - or even greater - your husband puts his dirty dish in the dishwasher instead of just leaving it in the sink (yes, this would be a wonder and would bring great happiness in my home - lol.)  But all those things which brings happiness is based on the weather and the behavior of another person.  It could be when you score the perfect outfit - or you ordered something on line and when it came it actually fit - trust me - that would be true happiness.  But happiness can be diminished and even disappear by other's actions too.

But joy can only come from the Lord - it has nothing to do with the actions of things in this world - in fact it has nothing really to do with our physical actions - it is a product of God's love for us and of our love for Him.  And that is what it is connected to - Love.  God's love is eternal, unfathomably great - it is always there - it is constant  -- and the more we love God and do His Will - the more joy we receive - for our hearts and souls are then in sync with the Father. And joy - cannot go away based on our mood or our actions - or lack of actions -- it is a permanent fixture.

I can have happiness without great love - you cannot have joy without it.

Well, as I said this all seemed to make sense once I thought about it  - but I wanted to do a little research on joy and happiness.  And I wanted to know what it truly is based on in Catholic teaching- so I turned to two sources - Pope Francis and the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  And here is what I found:

Pope Francis in his homily of May 31, 2014 said "likened this joy given by God to the joy a mother embracing her baby after childbirth, because it is a joy 'purified' by the suffering of labor.  The joy of the Christians, is a 'joy in hope.'"

And in the Catechism I found "Joy can be described as a more complete, ecstatic, consuming passion where happiness is an emotion/a feeling.  Happiness is our response to events in this world/outside influences we find happiness is a response to happenstance, contentment, good luck, prosperity or good fortune, Happiness is connected with pleasure."  CCC 1723, 1720, 301

Pope Francis put joy it in terms all mother's can understand; that immense feeling of new life coming into the world and how it is tied to our hope in the Father; and the Catechism gave a good explanation of happiness and how it is connected with pleasure and not joy.

So, what does all this mean to me right now - right here on earth - typing my blog on my kitchen table?  Well, for one thing - I know that joy is something I want; it is not something I can get by my actions or the actions of others - and I know I want to receive as much of the Father's love as one could receive.  I want to experience complete joy!  And as a bonus - come this Christmas - when we will sing "Joy to the World,"  I will know we are actually singing "God's Love Comes in to the World."