You Have Loved Me First

When my son was young and I would tell him "no" about something he wanted or wanted to do - he would throw himself into a chair - announcing how much I did not love him and how I was the meanest mommy in the world.  I would respond one of two ways - either clap dramatically claiming I expected an Oscar out of him some day -- or if he used the meanest mommy line - I would exclaim - "Oh Good!  They are presenting the award soon - and I am so hoping to win!"  This usually made him laugh and diffused the situation so we could talk about why I had said no.

So, this morning I was reading my Magnificat and the last line from the morning hymn was "You, O Lord, have loved me first."  This got me thinking about a parent's love.  And I thought with a smile of when my son was young.  All the times we had to say no because what he wanted or wanted to do would not be good for him and how he would react.  And this made me think of all the prayers I have prayed and did not receive the answer I wanted - the Father had told me "no" - not because he was trying to be mean and didn't love me - but because he does love me.

We become so caught up with the here and now, we forget that the Father loved us long before we were ever born.  That he has called us each by our name - he knows how many hairs are on our head and freckles on our nose.

As much as I love my son, it no way compares to how much the Father loves me.  And, he has that vast love for each of us - even when we are throwing a temper tantrum and dramatically throwing ourselves into a chair - he LOVES us.

Knowing this, we should move boldly through the world - we should not be afraid to do the "right thing."  To speak-up for those who do not have a voice - to care for those who are unloved by society - and to love those children who's parents need help.  We can be so quick to judge - love does not judge - love is there no matter the situation.  And, love is there all the time - not just when it's convenient, not just when it can be squeezed into our calendar, not just on a holiday when it makes us feel good to do something for another person during that time of the year.

Advent is coming - it is a time for all of us to share the Father's love with one another - build habits of loving others that will carry forth long after the holiday ends.

I encourage you as we move into a new Liturgical Year - to make your life - a life of love - to find new ways you can love others - someone you may not know - someone who may be totally different from yourself.  For truly they are not different and unknown - they are loved by the Father the same as us - they, as we, are all part of the same family.

Commit to a year of loving others the same as your are loved by the Father. I believe by this time next year - your life will be completely different and so enriched with love you will wonder why it took you so long to do it.

Seeing the Feet of God

Let me set the scene -- it was my first weekend retreat (Friday evening through Sunday.)  As my friend and me checked in, we were given a notebook (what in the world was this for?) and told this was a silent retreat (what?!) - the whole retreat - even during meals we were not to speak to each other.  Father would have lectures both morning and afternoon for us to meditate upon.

Those who know me, know I can be a very talkative person (I cannot tell you how many times I got in trouble in school for talking - but trust me it was a lot) - and then put me with 50 other women and tell me I cannot talk with them over the course of the next three days -- well, you can guess it, I went crazy.  I had not been prepared for this.  So, what did I do?  I pouted - "poor me."  I did attend some of the lectures, but the temptation to talk was strong, which lead me to spend more time in my room praying and reading.

But I did participate in one important part - we had a Holy Hour on Saturday evening (which is an hour in adoration before the Blessed Sacrament.)  Now before this time I had been trying in my mind's eye to look at Christ on the Cross - but all I could see was his feet.  I could not force my eyes upwards -- I believe I was in fear of what I would see - for I know I am a sinner, and am not truly worthy of God's love.

During the Holy Hour - while I was meditating on Christ's sacrifice - I once again tried to look at Jesus on the cross - I started seeing his feet once again in mind's eye, but then a marvelous thing happened.  My eyes moved upward and I saw the face of Jesus.  It was swollen and badly beaten, bruised and bloodied.  Then my eyes looked into his eyes - where I did not see judgement or anger, but rather mercy and forgiveness.  And most of all, I saw love.  His love for me but also his love for the whole world.  Here I had been all weekend thinking about myself, and not allowing something new to move me closer to the Lord.

This was a definite turning point in my relations with Christ.  Each time now, when I feel that I am being small and only concerned with my needs - I see in my mind's eye his face - and I know we are not here to do for only our needs - we are here to love the Father for his sacrifice and mercy.  We are then to take that glorious love of his and share it with one another.  His love cannot be kept to ourselves - it must be shared.

Have you tried to truly look at Christ on the cross in your mind's eye?  If not, I encourage you to try -- put yourself at the foot of the cross and look upwards.  I feel confident in saying, I know whatever you will find will change you - challenge you - and deepen your relationship with the Lord.

Ode to My Lord

Jesus my Lord, my love, my joy

You are my brother, my father, my King.

You give Hope to the despaired

You bring Light to those in darkness

You bring Comfort to those in pain

You bring Peace to those who's hearts are troubled.

In you I have  found Love, Gladness and Mercy.

In you I have receive strength

In you I find rest.

I give you all the glory and honor!

For you have picked me up when I have fallen

You have fed me when I was hungry

You have heard my cries.

All the days of my life I will sing of your goodness,

And I will praise you holy name till the ends of time.

Give to Caesar

As you may know, the Bible will speak to us with the message we need receive at that time.  The last time I read this Gospel (Mark 12:13-17) I found I was thinking about how everything belongs to God and my thoughts then went to many things including the people he has put in my life and the lovely nature outside my window to name just a few.  I found my prayers were ones of thankfulness for the bounty the Father has placed before me without even realizing it.

Today, though – my thoughts go to how everyone on this earth belongs to God – the good, the bad and the ugly.  We are all made from his love.  And I as I shared a few weeks ago, I feel an urging to pray for all the people of this earth.  Not just the saintly, but for all of us.

I envision the Father as a grandparent who is anxiously waiting for us to come home.  Perhaps there is a great feast in the process (I know my great-grandmother would cook for days before we would arrive.)  He has set a light in the window to guide us and welcome us home.  But he also sends out the Holy Spirit to walk every step with us.  And as we arrive his arms are opened wide ready to embrace us and a great banquet is set out to celebrate our home coming.  Yes, we have all sinned and we have all failed him – but this should not hold us back from receiving his love, for just as great is his love, is the greatness of his Mercy too.

So today, I pray for those who evil has taken a hold of – they have believed the lies whispered in their ears.  They are being used to try to destroy them and anyone that comes in contact with them.  What evil does not seem to understand is that it can destroy this body, but it can not change or destroy my soul/spirit.  I was created from the love of the Father, and no matter what happens here on earth – that fact will never change.  

I pray for those who have turned their backs to God.  For just as the lost lamb, they have wondered off without realizing it, and then they find themselves are too far away to make their way home without help.  That is where our prayers come in, for them to realize the Holy Spirit is right beside them, urging them upon the path where they can be found.  They just need to reach out and receive.

I pray for those who have never experienced the Father’s love.  They are unaware of what joy and love await them.

And, I pray for all the souls of this world, those who came before us, those who walk upon it now and those yet to come.  I pray for God’s love – a love so great, so grand it is unfathomable – to rain down upon this earth, that his light will brighten even the darkest of corners.  And that we all, everyone of us, find the path that will lead us home to his love and welcoming embrace.